I loathe asking for help. It's a real problem for me so I'm glad I'm not alone. Ironically, I love giving it. But I will give the fan letter a try. My mentors have always been people I don't know.
You’re not at all alone, Karin! I had a dear friend dm me this morning after reading this, spooked by how topical it was for her. There’s a ludicrously capacious bag of emotions around this for us ladies in particular, I think, especially when it comes to that giving v. receiving puzzle. I’m right there with you.
The fan letter approach is a fun one; really interesting too who chooses to reply and how. 🤔
A really thoughtful post, Bree. I sometimes whether the prediposition to ask/not ask for help is unevenly spread. Some people never ask for help, but should. Others rely on other people too much.
I'm not great at asking for help but, and this is a fault, I'm ok at letting others help when probably I should be doing the thing myself. Lots of learning still to do.
Bree, this is so true of me as well. I’m fiercely independent! I’m not sure if it’s nature or nurture in my case. I suspect it’s both. Maybe there’s a sort of pride, a need to prove that “I can do it myself” like a toddler would. 😆I’m working on it, but it’s not easy!
We all need this reminder, don’t we? Thanks for this thoughtful piece.
Yes, Serena! That’s the thing about self-reliance, right? There’s a pride in having done a thing under your own power and control. Unnnlessss, we lose more than we gain by it, which is so often the case.
Definitely not easy… I struggle to shake that toddler’s inclination too!
So true! This pride can come at a cost for sure. Sometimes there’s also a feeling of not wanting to bother people, but in most cases, they are happy to have been asked, and even happier to help.
I do this ridiculously often. 🙄 Asking myself how’d I feel if that particular person made the same request of me helps A TON. The answer 99.9% of the time is… ‘DUH. Of course I would!’ 😇
Thank you, Jeffrey! Glad this percolated a little for you, and I wholeheartedly agree on the varying degrees of lopsiding, to a person. And so situational too, influenced so often by interpersonal dynamics and learned experiences. We all struggle with the balance, and learning remains… infinite. Sure is for me also.
Ha! Winner winner, coffee drinker! Name your persuasion, Seth. ☕️
That’s exactly what was on the tip of my tongue. Such a great practice… thanks for sharing it AND for taking the extra credit. 😆
I loathe asking for help. It's a real problem for me so I'm glad I'm not alone. Ironically, I love giving it. But I will give the fan letter a try. My mentors have always been people I don't know.
You’re not at all alone, Karin! I had a dear friend dm me this morning after reading this, spooked by how topical it was for her. There’s a ludicrously capacious bag of emotions around this for us ladies in particular, I think, especially when it comes to that giving v. receiving puzzle. I’m right there with you.
The fan letter approach is a fun one; really interesting too who chooses to reply and how. 🤔
Great reminder, Bree. And btw, "tender-hearted and fiercely industrious" perfectly describes you!
Myryaaahhh! So thrilled to see you pop in to this special space, dear friend. Thanks so much for reading… you’re forever my editor in chief. 🧡✨
A really thoughtful post, Bree. I sometimes whether the prediposition to ask/not ask for help is unevenly spread. Some people never ask for help, but should. Others rely on other people too much.
I'm not great at asking for help but, and this is a fault, I'm ok at letting others help when probably I should be doing the thing myself. Lots of learning still to do.
Bree, this is so true of me as well. I’m fiercely independent! I’m not sure if it’s nature or nurture in my case. I suspect it’s both. Maybe there’s a sort of pride, a need to prove that “I can do it myself” like a toddler would. 😆I’m working on it, but it’s not easy!
We all need this reminder, don’t we? Thanks for this thoughtful piece.
Yes, Serena! That’s the thing about self-reliance, right? There’s a pride in having done a thing under your own power and control. Unnnlessss, we lose more than we gain by it, which is so often the case.
Definitely not easy… I struggle to shake that toddler’s inclination too!
So true! This pride can come at a cost for sure. Sometimes there’s also a feeling of not wanting to bother people, but in most cases, they are happy to have been asked, and even happier to help.
I do this ridiculously often. 🙄 Asking myself how’d I feel if that particular person made the same request of me helps A TON. The answer 99.9% of the time is… ‘DUH. Of course I would!’ 😇
That’s such a good strategy. Thank you! 🙏
I think it was me! My friend writes people whose work he admires once a week or so, as a fan!
Thank you, Jeffrey! Glad this percolated a little for you, and I wholeheartedly agree on the varying degrees of lopsiding, to a person. And so situational too, influenced so often by interpersonal dynamics and learned experiences. We all struggle with the balance, and learning remains… infinite. Sure is for me also.